There are times in life that may make you feel like throwing in the towel and just say I give up!! Believe me, I wanted to say that alot this past year and a half. I feel as if my life is in a holding pattern. Living day to day, hoping and praying that the guy I live with will find a new job is very stressful on both of us. It hurts every aspect of our life and the sad truth is we had a few issues before he was laid off, which we were trying to work out. And we almost had them resolved and we were looking forward to building a better life with one another.
One of those issues that I'm willing to bring to light was about how much time I spent on my own activities when we were home from work. I struggled with this, since I knew once I sit down to start writing a novel even more of my time would be taken with that endeavor. I don't know if I was testing him, by playing computer games that took up a good chunk of my time, but every time his perception turned to thinking I spent more time at my computer then with him, my heart sank a little more. Here I thought I was balancing my time as well as I could. And as most struggling writers know, we have to have a day job that takes up most of our waking hours, so we don't have many hours left in the evening once we get home from work. So it felt easier to give in than to fight with him about it. At times it felt good not doing anything, but sit and watch TV, since it didn't take any energy to do that. However the lazier I felt the more discontented I felt.
One of those issues that I'm willing to bring to light was about how much time I spent on my own activities when we were home from work. I struggled with this, since I knew once I sit down to start writing a novel even more of my time would be taken with that endeavor. I don't know if I was testing him, by playing computer games that took up a good chunk of my time, but every time his perception turned to thinking I spent more time at my computer then with him, my heart sank a little more. Here I thought I was balancing my time as well as I could. And as most struggling writers know, we have to have a day job that takes up most of our waking hours, so we don't have many hours left in the evening once we get home from work. So it felt easier to give in than to fight with him about it. At times it felt good not doing anything, but sit and watch TV, since it didn't take any energy to do that. However the lazier I felt the more discontented I felt.
This issue has made me wonder if I was cut out to be a writer. Well at least a writer who hasn't figured out how to manage my time at home yet. I only say yet, because I'm still feeling nervous. You see the last few months have been very turbulent for me and my guy. We fought alot, but we also discussed alot of things and one of the main things was about my time on the computer in the evenings. All of this makes me feel like I'm not only working on the start of a new novel, but that I'm also restarting my personal relationship. Its one day at a time with both things. And before you ask, I've decided both things are worth it. Even though the relationship is rocky we both are truly meant for one another.
It is also worth it to get my writing life back on track too. And I must say finding this site has been like a God send to me. You may wonder why a website building site can help inspire a person to be even more creative, but it can. Shoot I almost could've gotten in trouble at work today, since I was working on the changes I made to this site while at work and my boss walked into my office to get a chair. He never said anything. I guess those are the perks of being good at my job. But I'm glad I got most of the nit picky things done to this site so I don't have to keep working on designing it. I also hope everyone will like what I've done to this place as much as I do. I wanted to make it warm and inviting for my visitors and inspirational to myself. I feel I accomplished that, but with all things only time will tell.
Again I feel the writing tip of the day is appropriate for what I'm trying to convey in my blog post today: "Believe in the quality of your work and the value of your message and at the same time, recognize surprises always happen in publishing." Right now I do believe I put together a high quality website devoted to promoting me as a writer. I look forward to the many surprises I'll face on the journey ahead of me. And when the day comes to realize my dreams of being published I hope that day will be full of fabulous surprises.
It is also worth it to get my writing life back on track too. And I must say finding this site has been like a God send to me. You may wonder why a website building site can help inspire a person to be even more creative, but it can. Shoot I almost could've gotten in trouble at work today, since I was working on the changes I made to this site while at work and my boss walked into my office to get a chair. He never said anything. I guess those are the perks of being good at my job. But I'm glad I got most of the nit picky things done to this site so I don't have to keep working on designing it. I also hope everyone will like what I've done to this place as much as I do. I wanted to make it warm and inviting for my visitors and inspirational to myself. I feel I accomplished that, but with all things only time will tell.
Again I feel the writing tip of the day is appropriate for what I'm trying to convey in my blog post today: "Believe in the quality of your work and the value of your message and at the same time, recognize surprises always happen in publishing." Right now I do believe I put together a high quality website devoted to promoting me as a writer. I look forward to the many surprises I'll face on the journey ahead of me. And when the day comes to realize my dreams of being published I hope that day will be full of fabulous surprises.